Artist's have lives too.
|Posted on September 24, 2014 at 9:30 PM|
Let the chips fall where they may. I am making some of the biggest changes to my life that I have ever made. I am reaccessing what it is that I am and what it is that I want and then I can chose the path clearly that I am currently faced with. So I choose myself, with out any guilt, me and my art career are the most important things in my life right now. I love myself and I am not ashamed to admit it!
I have a clear vision of my upcoming series this winter! I am startiing plenty of new self-portraits! What a sly devilish 29 year old I have become!
|Posted on September 8, 2014 at 11:25 PM|
|Posted on August 12, 2014 at 6:00 PM|
Does anyone else get the feeling like they are in a constant state of getting ready for something to happen to them? I work and work and work till my bones are sore, but as David Byrne says "i'm still waiting".
I know that day by day it is easy to forget this magnificant ride is all we have. This ride is the only ride and how you experience the ride is up to you. How we battle with our emotions and perceptions can be unique to each of us, but most of the emotions are similar to each other. Fear and anger, anger is a by-product of fear. This is a key ingredient to each of our lives. I am learning that I have somehow along the way learned that I can master fear by ingoring, but the fear has settled into my psyche so deep that I am getting jolts of anger so intense I have to pull myself off the ride and calm down. I go back to my usual self of smiling and laughing my way through this world, but these episodes of intense emotional take over are leaving me shaken up, changed to the point of changing my perception and questioning my position on this ride and how much longer to I have to wrestle with these questions. I fear that this ride won't be long enough, and that I can't keep up with the speed that I am going and eventually I will be sick of it like most are. Maybe Robin Williams' recent suicide is affecting me? Well now to try some cures of my own. Art help me, and God too!
Here's a self-portrait that I have been working on. I have had this drawing on red card stock for more than 8 years. Before I signed my work as Mefore Aday. I have recently been working it into a background on wood. The self-portrait, when finished will be the first self-portrait that I have finished in a long time. This piece will be about time slipping between my fingers. I remember the night that I drew this. It was halloween night, I was doing a lot of nude self-portraits at the time. I was being heavily influenced by Egon Schiele's work. He did a lot of self-portraits and I loved his depiction of the human form. (I just realized that I am older than he ever got the chance to be.) I had access to a large mirror that I took from the bathroom of the house that I had just moved into with a large group of people that I did not know. I was the most alone that I have ever been. New city, new school , living for the first time in my life outside the south and outside of a relationship as an adult. I was obsessed with myself, I was molding myself into the kind of adult that I wanted to be. I am using this 8 year old self-portrait from 21 and immortalizing it into a painting now at 29. I want to put elements of the past 8 years of my life into this painting to portray a feeling of time slipping by faster than I can process it. To some how capture those core things that I know now that I did not know when I drew this self-portrait. I want to capture all of timethat I have experience if I could and put it into a work of art that takes the same amount of time to comprehend what it took to make the work as the amount of time it to took to create the work of art. I am searching....
|Posted on July 30, 2014 at 11:00 PM|
|Posted on June 28, 2014 at 5:30 PM|
hello there internet. you have proven me a believer in your powers.
an old friend has recently been posting videos of our comedy sketches from high school. I am having so much fun watching these videos of my young teenage days in my hometown Iuka, Mississippi.
|Posted on June 11, 2014 at 12:25 AM|
O what a joy it is to be in someone else's happiness bubble. Going to celebrations make you realize how everyone of us is so wrapped up in our own glorious bubbles! I don't like it too much when people enter into mine too much. I am unsure how open I want to be on my blog. I can be a very open person, with one on one eye contact, but I am hesitant to commiting to technology. I have yet to have a cell phone. I have issues with not wanting people to know where I am at all times. I am becoming braver and more considerate of my online presence. Here is a recent sketchbook entry.
|Posted on May 27, 2014 at 5:15 PM|
I am excited to say that I will be going down to last Thursday this Thursday to sale some of my leftover work from my art show at the Bare Bones Cafe. I have not had a chance to go down to the Last Thursday in NE Portland, but I am so excited to throw my energy in the mix! See you there!
|Posted on May 14, 2014 at 1:45 PM|
I have been lagging on my blogging. But that usually means I am out in the world making blog-worthy things happen. My art opening went smoothly. I was overjoyed to see friends and family there to support me. The following day I went to the Portland Art Museum and checked out one of my favorite artist's Tip Toland. Her new work blew my mind. I sat with these sculptures for a while feeling the intense emotions that would well up inside of me. She has inspired me to push myself to figure out how to do larger sculptures. I want to also develop my own signature finishing technique, which doesn't have to be glazing. Tip Toland has also inspired me to work harder at ceramics, that's what I love and if I want to be as good as she is, I have a lot of work ahead of me. Check out these amazing and very large sculptures on her website: http://www.tiptoland.com/
|Posted on April 30, 2014 at 5:40 PM|
Hung the work for my new show yesterday. The weather has been amazing! I am so excited for Friday.
The city was fun, but hot! Home now and enjoying the day off after a long month of working in the studio!
I enjoy putting mysef in positions where at first I feel very anxious and vunerable and then as things progress. I skip over calm and collective to giddy and excited. I pat myself on the back pretty well. So my skills to continue producing new work is to really have a good system of patting yourself on the back for every little accomplishment but still continue to strive to do better next time. And mistakes, well those little buggers are always be buzzing around, but I can squash them and forget about them one at a time. I push myself really hard to make work that I really enjoy. I reap the benefits of being a successful artist just by doing work that I love. So even if I am the only one at my show, I plan on having a blast viewing my work and it will be happy hour! And the I love the food at Bare Bones Cafe! So by the end of the night I might be dancing alone, which is what usually happens in my studio, anyway.
|Posted on April 22, 2014 at 6:45 PM|
|Posted on April 21, 2014 at 5:10 PM|
So So busy is how I thrive!
I am wrapping up lots of projects. This show is going to be fun for me. I have been working hard to make new drawings for the masses. I have been framing like a feign. Writing like a queen. I love being inspired by myself. As my mother would say " I am not one much for writing, so bye."
|Posted on April 11, 2014 at 8:40 PM|
I am interested in the questions with billions of answers.
Our culture is based on having the freedom of individualizing our reality and making it our own.
"Liberty, Life,and the Pursuit of Happiness"
I am interested in the human form. I manipulate the human figure to show it's vulnerability to it's
environment. We as humans are inherently different from each other, in that our epic realities vary
to make each of our personalities unique. Our genes are also infinitly different, but we all share that
same human gene even though the differences are minor. There will never be another me or you ever
again. Our similarities make our differences seem trivial.
What's a few hairy deformities in the scheme of humanity an all that we do or can't do?
|Posted on April 5, 2014 at 1:00 AM|
I am having a solo show in SE Portland this May! http://www.barebonescafe.net/
The opening will be the first friday of May! 6-9pm Come join me and check out my newest work!
|Posted on March 29, 2014 at 8:15 PM|
I am transforming before my very own eyes. Seeking refuge in my own strength. Coming to my own terms for living my own life. I have been so distracted. I know what focus is and how quickly progress can happen if I just focus and do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. And then I have to do a little more, to get a head. I am ready to elevate my self into a higher realm of self awareness so that I can be completly immersed in my artwork. I want to master the ability to speak my feelings thru my art. Some people think this is an ambitious task. To me it is the only thing worth working toward. My artwork is a thank you card to the universe. It's the only way that I can really show my appreciation for my life. I am so grateful to know what brings me bliss. Art is the reason that I will always enjoy my own company.
|Posted on March 26, 2014 at 12:50 AM|
I have been doing a great deal of soul searching lately. Making hard decisions. I have somehow deluted myself into thinking that I have already made most of the hard decisions. I guess that life will keep you on your toes. I feel lucky to know where my priorities are. I realize that I need to straighten some things out, mentally and physically. I am beginning to realize the importance of my selfish side to protect my artistic side. I need to protect my artistic time by putting it first. Success from being an artist comes from being alone in a quiet room for a very long time. I am a very lucky artist to find myself in a most beautiful location to pursue my inner most beauty. I am so fortunate to be doing what I am doing. This is an overview photo of my studio location. It's hard to locate my home/studio but that ismy tiny red shed in the center of this aerial shot that my husband took. I am beginning to see that this gift of location was no accident. I have been given a opportunity to exist here and I intend to use it to it's full potential.
|Posted on March 21, 2014 at 11:00 PM|
Well not that anyone is making me do this. But I feel the need to post something. I feel sort of blah today. But this weekend is going to be busy. At work and at home. Big wedding means lots of customers, and I am attending the wedding! Great people great fun! Then I will end the weekend with a couple of friends dropping in for a visit!
|Posted on March 16, 2014 at 8:50 PM|
|Posted on March 8, 2014 at 7:40 PM|
I have so much to say but I feel shy on the internet. It makes me feel vunerable to express myself in free form for all the free world. I express myself the most when I am doing art. I write a lot in my sketchbooks.
I write on every scrap of paper I can find. I write observations, jokes, ideas, and lists on everything.
Today I wrote "People seem to be competative when it comes to who grew up shittier. Some people are happy with themselves, and therfore, happy with there up bringing. People who have shitty lives, blame everything including their childhoods, because no one wants to take credit for a shitty existence. But it is odd how people want to be rich, but they wish they grew up poor."
|Posted on March 4, 2014 at 11:10 PM|
I am coming at life from a different perspective. I think I got it all figured out, which is more than I can say for most. I know what makes me happy and blissful. I know what it will take to get there. I am prepared to do the work. I am ready to fufill my destiny. There's that saying. "Working hard brings you luck." I don't know who said that one. But Gandi said this one "Action expresses Priorities" that one I figured by myself by knowing that everybody does what they really want to do. regardless of what it is that they think they want to do.
|Posted on February 25, 2014 at 6:55 PM|
I am now so happy to appeciate my own existence. Surfing in the Pacific Ocean I get that same feeling of excited calmness I used to get when I was going through a rough situation when I was a child. Acceptance that your death may be close but feeling calm as a baby about it, because worrying about your situation is not constructive to survival. As a Southern Baptist, I was a young and true believer, I would look to God for strength because I truly believed he really did have his eye on me. This was very comforting to me. As a child, I was so grateful for my health, my own state of mind, my own ability to problem solve and willingness to accept my own mortality as a door to something else. As a child I learned how to talk to God through prayer and it was always my guiding light to know what to do in almost any situation. I now talk to what I like to think of as the Universe and I talk to this Universe with all the intensity of that poor Southern Baptist child. I do this and it always leads me in the right direction. Hence all my good luck. I am still so grateful for every thought I have, they are gifts. My ideas are gifts from the Universe and my life is the tool necessary for the Universe to complete it's idea. As an artist, I hope to convey an iconic style that can become my own language between myself and the Universe. Acceptance of my job as tool for the Universe I feel like I can do no wrong. Knowing my ability to learn from mistakes with enthusiasm (gratefulness for mistakes) is one my most redeeming qualities as an artist. This will be my realization today! I will settle for that with a smile on my face!