|Posted on December 20, 2016 at 8:55 PM|
In 6th grade, my Diddy (Dad) moved us away from our big family in the woods to a central-heat and air apartment in Mississippi where he could attain Social Security Disability because of his epilepsy. This was to be first stable income besides Food Stamps that my family was getting since I was born.
I love the anonymity of being the new kid.
I quickly made new friends, my first friends that I was not related to.
This is when I got my first skateboard.
I technically stole it. I borrowed it from one of my new friends, but never gave it back.
Her mom bought it from Wal-mart for like $10 and it was a piece of Chinese plastic crap not worth describing.
But at 12 we loved sitting on it and bombing down her street.
She let me borrow it because she didn't play with it, unless I was there.
I really wanted to learn to stand on it and go fast, that was it.
That was my start.
We lived in Government Subsidized Apartments and it had a basketball court.
I would walk the skateboard down to the smooth Basketball court and go around in circles for hours by myself.
In rural Mississippi in 1998, skateboarding wasn't "normal" kid stuff, and definitely not a normal Southern Belle activity.
I was 13 at this time and I did not meet another girl with a skateboard until I was 20 when I moved out West to Oregon.
The only thing I really saw about skateboarding at this time was on the Disney channel.
|Posted on December 12, 2016 at 6:00 PM|
The time is Here! Time to count your blessings!
This time of year is always a double edge sword for me. Work hard and Play hard!
I tend to go all out in everything that I do!
I plan and attend tons of Holiday parties trying to promote myself at every turn.
And on the flip side I attend and take part in a few Holiday Shows!
The preparation for these events takes it out of me. The actual events and gatherings are always so much fun though!!!
My Birthday is January 17th and I usually just love to sit around in sweats and be as lazy as possible!
I am so excited to be doing what I a doing with my life!
I work all day long with short breaks to goof off in the snow and dancing, to get the blood flowing.
I then calm down, sit down and work on get my life together! Thanks for checking out my Blog!
|Posted on August 3, 2016 at 8:00 AM|
"The Fruit is Not the Seed"
Best in Show
I am so proud to announce that I have won Best of Show with my painting "The Fruit is Not the Seed". I am so fortunate to have been a part of Big Bend Cares in Tallahassee, Florida.
Artopia is a great Art Show Fundraising event that this year raised $97,000!
Big Bend Cares raises funding for those living with HIV in the Tallahassee area to help with things like medical costs. I was honored to have been chosen as "Best in Show" and filled with giddiness because both paintings that I donated were sold. I hope that the people who own that work will enjoy it as much as i enjoyed making it! To find out more about Artopia or to donate to Big Bend Cares. Check out their website below.
I am always searching for a deep connetion to my surroundings. As a child, I can remember always looking to find meaning in everything. I was a spiritual child. I always knew that I wanted me to be an artist. I had my doubts as I grew up and had the world to contend with. I had very encouraging parents, but unfortunately, I lost my faith in their opinion at an early age. I remember thinking that they only knew that I was persistent with my efforts at improving my drawing skills, but that they don't understand what I am really pursuing as an artist. Let's just say, that I became a master at patting myself on the back for my accomplishments. I don't remember needing approval for anything. That attitude is still pervasive in my work. I basically have no one's voice but my own in my head, and my biggest challenge as a grown up artist, is to calm down and ask for help.
"The artistic soul connects to the world in a different way. It is always interesting to see what kind of representation or interpretation the artist creates. It will always be ever-changing though, because nature and life are always ever-changing. The artist interprets and depicts the world as he or she sees it, feels it, and knows it to be."
|Posted on March 20, 2016 at 11:15 PM|
Being an Artist can be a bit overwhelming, sometimes. But being brave and having faith is what life and art is all about! Step by Step the process is quite amazing!
As an Artist, I am running a small business while, at the same time, I am also trying to constantly get better at my craft, making lots of mistakes along the way, and thinking up and trying to manifest good ideas, while having lots of bad ideas, all the while selling my art, submitting to shows, soaking up all the knowledge I can about art and business. I sometimes feel, I hardly have time to do the other 50% of my life. Which is stuff like my husband, my cat, swimming, hiking, wishing, reading, daydreaming.
It seems as if I have put the weight of the world on my shoulders, because I tend to think that I can do things on my own, and I tend to think that I can do whatever I want!
I don’t ask for help very often, which can definitely work against me sometimes. I have always felt most comfortable depending upon myself. I can trust myself. So I have an easy time staying true to myself.
Everyday though I am reminded of how lucky I really am. Just creating “something” is amazing. I actually get to that every day, I barely make enough selling Art and I am working odd jobs here and there to pay living expenses, but I am doing it! I am really doing it, and I am getting better at everything that I thought was hard before, like the art of self-promotion and using tools like social media and iPhones.
All of which is new to me.
So here is my attempt to opening up about my personal life!
Being alone is a luxury and a pleasure to me, it always has been, being from a big family and now, living with my husband who I met and have lived with for my entire adulthood, I have never felt “alone”
That being said, I do have a lot of alone time. I like being by myself, and I relish in an empty room, where I can make myself laugh. I have always enjoyed my own company. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy other humans as well. But I have always loved being by myself, even since I was a kid! I grew up in such a big family that when we did get our own trailer, I knew having my own room was something that a lot of humans don’t get. Shutting a door and claiming a space as “mine” was very powerful for me. I would love to just play by myself and make crazy projects that even as a kid, I knew were "special".
I spent a whole weekend when I was 8 years old, cutting out the before and after photos of about 40 beauty makeover glamour features that were from my grandma's old Women's Day magazines from the late 80's. I spent so much time meticulously cutting out these women's profiles and then glueing them into homemade construction paper folders and then glueing them all in one long line around my bedroom walls. The idea was that I wanted to be able to walk around the room and look at the before picture of these women who didn't look very happy, open the folder to see the smiling, women with their new hair and make up.
I stayed up late to finish this project and fell asleep once I finished. I woke up excited to play with this new "toy" that I had made. I sat up and looked at my creation and then started flipping through these women's makeover's. Before and After! I was immediately bored, and started thinking "Why did I do this? This took so much time and I don't even like it. But at least I finished it, I guess that says something about me?"
I tore it all down immediately, but I had to live with the color bits of construction paper glued to my walls for years, because I could not remove all the glue. I ended up kind of liking that!
I remember this revelation, because I wrote it down in my journal! At the time, my Diary!
I can be a very social person sometimes. I like going out and seeing people and talking endlessly about everything. My family says that “God blessed me with the gift of gab”.
I am a very open and honest person “in person”. I am just trying to break down some internal barrier to open up more on the internet. I have just hopped on the social media train, and I am learning the ropes of running and promoting a small business that is highly competitive and volatile.
THE ART BUSINESS!!!
I am so lucky to explore who I really am, every day. I don't take this for granted. I only know how good I have it, because I know how hard life can be. Even as a kid growing up in a trailer in the woods in poverty stricken parts of the South, I knew that I could have it a lot worse. I could have been born in a city. For some reason I thought that being a poor city kid would be worse. I also thought that I was lucky to live in the United States, because of the Social Security that it provides to most of my family, including my father, as our sole source of income.
I bought into that "American Dream" as a kid that I watched on 90's TV. I believed that if I worked hard enough, I too could live a life where I paid my bills on time, and the power and the water is always running and the refrigerator always has a snack or two inside. That is really all I need to be satisfied. I guess I really want just the bare minimum of the "American Dream"
Besides this I need a space to be myself and work! I am Happy because I have all these things and more. I recently read something, somewhere online "Happiness = Life – Expectations." It has stuck with me. Living a life without expectations to me, though, means material expectations, things outside of our control. I believe that we should expect a lot from ourselves and our abilities to better ourselves every day.
Here’s what German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer has to say about happiness:
"Happiness belongs to those who are sufficient unto themselves. All external sources of happiness and pleasure are subject to chance."
We've often heard the advice that "happiness comes from within," but when life gets hard, this advice seems a bit trite. I know what it feels like to feel out of control and not be able to really make my life what you want it to be. To be lost, confused, and scared to take the steps necessary to make the things happen that you need to happen. I am still struggling everyday with self-doubt and uncertainty. I also have moments of jubilation multiple times a day, because I am trying so hard and I am learning something new everyday. I think that we are capable of feeling the whole range of feelings every day. No person is just “Happy” or just “Sad”. We are in constant fluctuation. We are in constant movement with our thoughts and feelings.
I can get very excited easily and I like to celebrate the little wins, like finishing a new painting that I really like or actually going out for a run! My favorite time is actually starting a new painting. But I can also overwhelm myself with endless research and organizing of my ideas and notes. I just got an iPhone 4 and it is my first smart phone, trying to stop writing on millions of post it notes and notebooks. I am watching my art business grow in the palm of my hand; it really is quite amazing to be a human these days!
Artists should definitely feel lucky, because of the access to all kinds of art and information that the internet provides. I still have an old copy of The Artist’s Dictionary, which I still enjoy browsing every now and again. But most of my browsing for Contemporary Artists to obsess about, come from the worldwide web. So with that note I will end this blog post. Hoping that I too can contribute something “more” to this world wide project called THE INTERNET!
Let me know what you think about opening up and being more vulnerable on the internet? Is it something that you want to do too? Or if you have any advice or articles to share with me about Writing for Artists please share them with me at [email protected]
Thanks for reading!
Have a Happy Day out there!!! That's no April Fool's Joke!
|Posted on March 16, 2015 at 11:00 AM|
Life is crazy. It can pick you up and shake you and throw you back down. It doesn't even stop to ask you if you are okay. I have always been a tough cookie, because I did not have it easy as a kid, Because of that, I have kind of built my adult life up as a sort of cost-effective creative paradise. I somehow got really lucky to have almost everything I wanted in life by the time I was 30. I have had hardships, but it has been so long since I have known real grief. I am now grieving my move to White Salmon and going through personal family grieving as well. I am excited about moving to a new beautiful area. I know that I will come to love living in the mountains, but I know I will yearn for sand and surfl. I realize that life wants to wake me up and make me appreciate everything that I have while I have it. Nothing lasts forever. I hope this feeling of appreciation lasts forever. The big move happns in two weeks. I can't believe how much stuff I have left to do. I am writing this blog entry because I am procrastinating on doing something else. I know that moving is full of opportunities, I used to be addicted to those new opportunities. Now, I am patient, I like quiet, I like solitude, I like myself. My new studio will be in a town setting, no view, but will be on a ground floor. No more skinny staircase. I'm actually most excited to have a bathroom near my studio! Keeping a check on those silver linings!
|Posted on November 1, 2014 at 12:00 AM|
I like the idea of dressing up and acting a fool just as much as the next guy. But alas. This year like most years. The day that Halloween lands on is not the same day that I feel like going out and being social! At least it's a holiday that you don't get too much guf for opting out of. Unless you deprive children of this candy covered holiday and it's wacky traditions, then that seems harsh and cruel. But this year I am fine with taking the evening off watching a scary movie and eating popcorn with my husband. I did partake in one Halloween tradition this afternoon. Enjoy!
|Posted on October 25, 2014 at 3:50 AM|
I have been going strong in the studio all week. Long days and nights. But alas, no photos as of late, because I have misplaced my camera for a little over a week. I had no idea how much I would miss documenting myself until I have deprived of the option. I was really looking forward to documenting the process that I am currently experimenting with. But it is rather sweet just doing what ever I want and not worrying about if I should be photographing this or not? So I figured that a lost camera should not slow me down with my blog. So I will post an older shot! Enjoy. I have been working on this piece a lot lately.
|Posted on September 24, 2014 at 9:30 PM|
Let the chips fall where they may. I am making some of the biggest changes to my life that I have ever made. I am reaccessing what it is that I am and what it is that I want and then I can chose the path clearly that I am currently faced with. So I choose myself, with out any guilt, me and my art career are the most important things in my life right now. I love myself and I am not ashamed to admit it!
I have a clear vision of my upcoming series this winter! I am startiing plenty of new self-portraits! What a sly devilish 29 year old I have become!
|Posted on September 8, 2014 at 11:25 PM|
|Posted on May 27, 2014 at 5:15 PM|
I am excited to say that I will be going down to last Thursday this Thursday to sale some of my leftover work from my art show at the Bare Bones Cafe. I have not had a chance to go down to the Last Thursday in NE Portland, but I am so excited to throw my energy in the mix! See you there!
|Posted on April 30, 2014 at 5:40 PM|
Hung the work for my new show yesterday. The weather has been amazing! I am so excited for Friday.
The city was fun, but hot! Home now and enjoying the day off after a long month of working in the studio!
I enjoy putting mysef in positions where at first I feel very anxious and vunerable and then as things progress. I skip over calm and collective to giddy and excited. I pat myself on the back pretty well. So my skills to continue producing new work is to really have a good system of patting yourself on the back for every little accomplishment but still continue to strive to do better next time. And mistakes, well those little buggers are always be buzzing around, but I can squash them and forget about them one at a time. I push myself really hard to make work that I really enjoy. I reap the benefits of being a successful artist just by doing work that I love. So even if I am the only one at my show, I plan on having a blast viewing my work and it will be happy hour! And the I love the food at Bare Bones Cafe! So by the end of the night I might be dancing alone, which is what usually happens in my studio, anyway.
|Posted on April 22, 2014 at 6:45 PM|
|Posted on March 21, 2014 at 11:00 PM|
Well not that anyone is making me do this. But I feel the need to post something. I feel sort of blah today. But this weekend is going to be busy. At work and at home. Big wedding means lots of customers, and I am attending the wedding! Great people great fun! Then I will end the weekend with a couple of friends dropping in for a visit!